One of the harder things about travelling alone, or living and working abroad alone is that you’re… well… alone. You don’t have someone to spend every day with, or go around visiting places, or share your excitement over every little thing. In my case a lot of my friends in Korea have full time jobs, and therefore aren’t free except for evenings or weekends, and even then you can’t see them all the time ’cause, y’know, they have a life beyond you.
Now I love spending time by myself, I like being able to explore and experience quiet time, but I also love being around other people, I enjoy company. Especially here in Korea, company is commonplace. It’s rare to see people eating or drinking alone, you either see people in pairs or groups laughing and talking together. Naturally I also want to hang out with people, and chat and eat and drink together. However, I get so worried about annoying the friends I have here, and worrying about seeming needy or helpless, I’m reluctant to message them and ask to hang out.
I spoke to one of my friends about this, he knew that I wanted people to hang out with and that I was worried about becoming a burden, and he reassured me that even though people might be busy or working that they would always get back to me afterwards. He said “you don’t to be or think about it so seriously” and reminded me that just how if I’m busy and a friend texts me, I might not answer straight away, but when I can I always message them back or call them to see whats up.
I found myself thinking about how often we decide not to message someone, or ask to meet up or chat because we are worried we might annoy that person by seeming needy or pathetic. I have done it so many times, when I’ve felt sad or lonely. I wanted to talk to someone, but didn’t.
And yet at the same time, I’m constantly telling my friends to contact me whenever they need someone to talk to, whether its day or night. I tell them this because they are my friends, I care about them, I love them. And if they need someone to talk to at 3 o’clock in the morning because they feel sad, you can bet I will always be willing to answer the phone, as well as sleepy probably.
When your friends with someone, if they need you, or if they want to be with you and spend time with you, its nice. I mean, don’t get me wrong of course there are times where people can be annoying, but honestly, I’d rather be annoyed by my needy friends everyday than spend my time completely alone. I think we all need to be a little less scared of being annoying. Being considerate is of course a good trait to have, but asking your friend how they are, or how work was, or even asking them if they want to get a cup of coffee and catch up isn’t annoying. It’s nice.
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